It's funny because throughout our entire childhoods, people are always questioning us on what we want to be when we grow up. As young kids we answer with whatever happened to peak our interest on that particular day (week, or a phase of a few years maybe). The question intensifies in frequency and with purpose though as we near our senior year in high school- the time when we're supposed to know with absolute certainty what direction we're pointing our young minds in. I remember undergoing numerous activities during my senior year that encouraged us to ponder where we would be in the ten years following our graduation. I, like most everyone else, stated that I would be working comfortably (as a first or second grade teacher), married, own a home, and raising at least my first child. It's funny how skewed our sense of time is as seniors in high school.
As most of us direct our lives through the "college" route and choose a major (a few times maybe), the question of what we want to be when we grow up obviously drops off a bit. The pressure isn't on to choose anymore, it's on to do something with that choice. Well, that's where the statistics come in. Yes, you know, that number that tells us how many graduates are actually working within the major and field of their "choice". Personally, I never paid attention to those numbers. Every college offers them as an incentive to make high enrollment numbers, and I wasn't condsidering any other colleges than the one I attended, so I cared little for any of the statistics that they were handing us. In saying that, the message behind that particular above mentioned statistic is definitely clearer to me now more than ever.
I have a teaching license and a degree in Early Childhood Education.
Yup. But I'm working within a local fork lift business preparing invoices and making collection calls. That's about as far away from a classroom as you can get- working 8am to 5pm Monday through Friday. Financially, it keeps me afloat. And let me just state that I am EXTREMELY grateful to be afloat right now. I am well aware that there are many, many people who are out of work and would love to be in my position. I do understand that while I may not be doing what it is that I think I should be or want to be doing, I am still one of the lucky ones. I guess the point that I am trying to make is that I realize I am apart of the negative end of a statistic. Quite honestly, I'm not okay with that. I feel that I have put forth far too much effort and overcome far too many obstacles to be okay with that.
I guess in the end, being aware of this fact, it makes me think about not only the next ten years of my life but also, the next 60! Dealing with Kevin's grandma's dementia makes me wonder more and more what life at 80 will be like for me. The debate as to whether or not to place grandma in home for around the clock, personal care is one that scares me. Not only for her but selfishly, for me as well. What if I don't have anyone around to make those choices and decisions on my behalf? The thought really scared me one morning, as pathetic as that may be to admit, it really did catch me by surprise. I know we can't live in fear of the unknown. We should instead use our fears to motivate us into creating better lives for ourselves. Blah. Blah. Blah. It sounds good. It sounds inspirational and all of that, but I'll admit, I don't know where to start! I am, afterall, only human. I make mistakes. I allow myself to fall into bouts of self-pity from time to time. I think it's healthy in a way, because as long as we don't allow ourselves to take it to an extreme, we can really learn from our "lower" moods.
I'm starting to ramble now as different thoughts creep up on me as I'm typing. Here's to life at 80 and hoping that we're one of the lucky bunch who are sane, mobile, healthy, financially sound, AND loved!
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