"The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, not to worry about the future, or not to anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly."
~Buddha
As much as I love having the summer off, I'm finding that since the 4th of July came to an end, I'm beginning to feel anxious about the upcoming school year. Kevin laughs (in a seemingly knowing way) at my over-analyzation and needless worry. What can I say? That's something I have always done and will, more than likely, continue to do. I think I'm too hard on myself and strive too hard for perfection in performance. I wish I could channel that motivation to a more personal, self-improving focus. I don't feel that I acknowledge my well-being, emotional or physical health as of late. I know how great it feels to be centered in mind and body. I have experienced it in the past and gloried in the self-confidence it brings forth. Unfortunately I feel (and I may be far off point here) that I unknowingly self-soothe through loathing myself. Does that make sense? Like self-sabotage because you aren't totally convinced that you deserve the end result you were after? It's not like I do this with everything. I feel that I am very professional, effective, and sincere when it comes to my students. Of course, during the school year I feel as though I have more purpose. I've concluded that's the gist of my summer blues. I don't do well when I'm in idle mode! I went through a similar experience right after I graduated from Walsh. I was without school work or a job for about a month. Ahh. Misery. For Kevin and myself. I went from having nothing to do- to working three jobs! Purpose. Everyone wants to feel as though they were intended to fulfill some purpose.
I am thankful for Radar this summer and for the future summers we will have together. (I know, corny, right?) He's the tiny being that needs me right now. Maybe not in the same sense as my students or a human baby, but he looks for me and relies on me for survival. I'm thankful for the opportunity to have a dog companion once again. I love the puppy stage he is currently in but am also really looking forward to the grown dog he will be. I can't wait to take him on walks and go together to the dog park. I've always loved animals. Life means the most and is the best when one is surrounded by animals and children. My goal is to RELAX and ENJOY the remainder of my summer- and to put my anxiousness aside. The upcoming year will be a great one!
