Updates . . . and Such

Well the CT scan results have been back for two weeks now. They show a dense mass above the orginal incision area. The mass itself could be nothing or it could be cancer. Unfortunately, this whole process is already frustrating me. I am a master procrastinator and don't want to deal with this! I did make an appointment with the podiatrist that my family doctor recommended but was so annoyed with him and his remarks that it just frustrated me further. He was more than a bit arrogant (in my opinion), and I wasn't overjoyed with his thoughts (although they would be ideal in this particular situation). I just don't feel as though I have the strength at the moment to continue in the process. I know that sounds utterly stupid to others but that is where I am at right now. I did make an appointment with an additional podiatrist for late April. I will make sure that I have the actual CT with me to show him, and I will also inform him that the original tissue removed was cancerous. Hopefully he takes me more seriously. I don't want to jump to conclusions but things such as this need to be treated to the fullest. Apparently the scar tissue is immense- and that in itself is probably contributing to the pain that I have. Overall, I am hoping for all of this to be handled when school is out for the summer. I am hoping that these last few months of the school year go smoothly and that this summer holds everything we are striving for.

Sometimes I feel embarassed that this blog could potentially be read. The title itself shares the mundane nature my blog must take on. I mean this is the everyday in my world. It doesn't matter whether or not someone actually reads my words- but it is nice to write it out- express oneself- purge those thoughts and attempt to make sense of them.

I'm not so sure the purpose we take on sometimes- and I know I'm not the only one who has ever wondered that. It's common for us to question, doubt, become frustrated, want out..... Everyone deals with those feelings in their own way. Some push away others and become isolated- some attach themselves to people who appear strong and confident in their purpose. I wish I had more of an answer. I wish that people weren't so quick to judge and condemn. I had a religion class tonight that I am taking in order to keep my religion teaching license up to date. The particular course is the Theology of the Body-appropriate viewpoints of Catholic Sexuality, Celibacy, Communion to the Church in the "Marriage to the Lamb". Tonight's class frustrated me. I found the key points redundant..... and at times slightly far reaching. I don't know- I probably shouldn't even be questioning it (or mentioning it for that matter), but religion and one's spirituality is so personal. PERSONAL. And yet should be evident and vocalized at the same time. Who has mastered that fully? (Besides Christ.) Not me- as much as I try, not me.
Not me.