New Year's Resolution 2011

(Two weeks of vacation with Kevin home as well. It's days and weeks like this that I realize how lucky I am to have the support that I have in my life.) In preparation for the writing of this resolution, I became thoroughly and instantly depressed. How can one really write a resolution about making changes if he/she doesn't acknowledge the existing circumstances that one desires to change. I will make my resolutions short and simple as I am still having a difficult time acknowledging the fact that I have let both issues get to the point that they have.

There are two main things in my life that I would like to work on changing:

1) My Weight- which is a repetitive resolution that I always say will occur that particular year.

This year though I have to master my weight issues. I have spiraled into a situation in which I don't acknowledge what I am eating or how much weight I have managed to put on. But I in order to conquer an issue, one must know what the issue is. I put on 8 pounds this year. What's my excuse this year? No foot surgery- that was in 2009. No office job where I'm sitting all day- that was 2008 and 2009. Without a walking partner?- Now I've got the puppy who requires regular excerise.  Just plan BAD HABITS and acquired LAZINESS! I have no excuses. I have purchased a Wii gaming system, Kevin has promised to help decrease the amount of junk food in the house, and I have promised to join Anna in Weight Watchers. Whether or not I allow these tools to assist me is completely up to how I integrate them into my new daily life. So here's to 2011's weight loss and upcoming June nuptials!



2) Over-Reacting Emotionally- which is a new acknowledgement on my part.

I have realized very recently that I am happy. Isn't that a funny thought to have. If it's true as I believe it to be- then I need to begin acting like it. I need to stop over-reacting to comments and situations. I didn't fully see my outbursts as they are. Ashamed and embarassed would be two adjectives I would use to describe myself in response to that realization.

 Do you know what finally triggered me into "getting it"? Radar. It seems silly I realize, but I care so much for my animals (and especially of the newest edition who has "needed" me from day one) that I don't want to disrupt or create disbalance in their emotional well-being. Radar is such a loving, sensitive, emotional, sweet character that he quite obviously displays his family's moods in his own actions and personality. If I am agitated- so is he. If I am frustrated- he sure lets me know that frustration can be overwhelming. It breaks my heart to think that I can have a negative impact on any being (human or animal). He's brought back in me that soft, quiet sensibility. That presence that goes with the flow and doesn't over-react. That being that takes "bad" circumstances and softly corrects them into "good" experiences.

"Softly" My new word for my actions this year will be "softly". React softly. Think things through softly. Soft doesn't have to be viewed in a negative light. I thought that it did. I thought I was too soft. I thought that I should be harder. I thought that I should be tougher. I thought that I had to be more outspoken. I was incorrect. I realize it now, after it has become quite a habit to react poorly- to react harshly in the instant. I want to acknowledge this now. I want to face this head on. I want to change this back. There are some things that we don't need to change. Gentle, soft, relaxed, sensitive. That's how I want to be remembered. I don't want to have to be tough, not in the sense of attitude and reaction.

Approach softly. Love fully. React patiently.