Update . . . for personal encouragement

While my New Year's Resolution may not be all that thrilling to most people, nor my progress towards accomplishing it, but I feel that putting my progress in print may help me keep up the motivation needed to fully become healthier. One aspect of my resolution was to- yes, lose weight. And in about 17 days time I have managed to lose a solid 6 pounds. The weight tends to fluctuate between 6 and 7 but it seems to be sitting consistently at the 6 mark. This was done solely by counting calories and watching how much and what I am eating. I've started working out a bit with my new Wii- using the Just Dance game as a way to get moving. I've been feeling pretty good while doing this too. Just tonight I purchased the Zumba game and hope that this will help me as well. With the addition of aerobic movement into my routine, I hope to get past that solid 6 and move onto my goal weight.

It does get hard sometimes though... I know that seeing larger weight loss takes time and it can be frustrating. I'm trying so hard not to succomb to food when I'm stressed, emotional, or depressed. I don't know when exactly I began doing that- but I have been an emotional eater as of the last few years. I know that once I get myself in shape- the rush of working out and eating right will kick in as it always does. It's just tough getting past this "craving" period of junk and pushing past the sedentary habits I have created.

I have dieted and failed in the past. I have told myself I was going to undergo a "lifestyle change" and have failed in the past. This time I'm not really going to title it as anything- this time I am attempting to work on my self-control. I'm attempting to see how I really view myself- how strong I really think I am. I haven't been exhibiting self-worth as of late and it's time to change that.

New Year's Resolution 2011

(Two weeks of vacation with Kevin home as well. It's days and weeks like this that I realize how lucky I am to have the support that I have in my life.) In preparation for the writing of this resolution, I became thoroughly and instantly depressed. How can one really write a resolution about making changes if he/she doesn't acknowledge the existing circumstances that one desires to change. I will make my resolutions short and simple as I am still having a difficult time acknowledging the fact that I have let both issues get to the point that they have.

There are two main things in my life that I would like to work on changing:

1) My Weight- which is a repetitive resolution that I always say will occur that particular year.

This year though I have to master my weight issues. I have spiraled into a situation in which I don't acknowledge what I am eating or how much weight I have managed to put on. But I in order to conquer an issue, one must know what the issue is. I put on 8 pounds this year. What's my excuse this year? No foot surgery- that was in 2009. No office job where I'm sitting all day- that was 2008 and 2009. Without a walking partner?- Now I've got the puppy who requires regular excerise.  Just plan BAD HABITS and acquired LAZINESS! I have no excuses. I have purchased a Wii gaming system, Kevin has promised to help decrease the amount of junk food in the house, and I have promised to join Anna in Weight Watchers. Whether or not I allow these tools to assist me is completely up to how I integrate them into my new daily life. So here's to 2011's weight loss and upcoming June nuptials!



2) Over-Reacting Emotionally- which is a new acknowledgement on my part.

I have realized very recently that I am happy. Isn't that a funny thought to have. If it's true as I believe it to be- then I need to begin acting like it. I need to stop over-reacting to comments and situations. I didn't fully see my outbursts as they are. Ashamed and embarassed would be two adjectives I would use to describe myself in response to that realization.

 Do you know what finally triggered me into "getting it"? Radar. It seems silly I realize, but I care so much for my animals (and especially of the newest edition who has "needed" me from day one) that I don't want to disrupt or create disbalance in their emotional well-being. Radar is such a loving, sensitive, emotional, sweet character that he quite obviously displays his family's moods in his own actions and personality. If I am agitated- so is he. If I am frustrated- he sure lets me know that frustration can be overwhelming. It breaks my heart to think that I can have a negative impact on any being (human or animal). He's brought back in me that soft, quiet sensibility. That presence that goes with the flow and doesn't over-react. That being that takes "bad" circumstances and softly corrects them into "good" experiences.

"Softly" My new word for my actions this year will be "softly". React softly. Think things through softly. Soft doesn't have to be viewed in a negative light. I thought that it did. I thought I was too soft. I thought that I should be harder. I thought that I should be tougher. I thought that I had to be more outspoken. I was incorrect. I realize it now, after it has become quite a habit to react poorly- to react harshly in the instant. I want to acknowledge this now. I want to face this head on. I want to change this back. There are some things that we don't need to change. Gentle, soft, relaxed, sensitive. That's how I want to be remembered. I don't want to have to be tough, not in the sense of attitude and reaction.

Approach softly. Love fully. React patiently.

New Year ~ and the typical New Year's Resolution!

Yes- I am going to be one of those people! LOL- those people who decide that the best time to start dieting and exercising is January! I just really feel ready. I didn't really include it in my actual New Year's Resolution with the rest of my 2010 goals- but I feel now, at the middle of January, that I am ready to start this. I'm gotten myself into a comfortable realm of not working out again- and that's VERY bad! I feel better about everything in general when I work out regularly and I miss that feeling! I've started by determining what would be the best thing to do for breakfast and lunch. I have a huge problem with eating at these times because I'm either on the go or way too busy! I don't really let myself sit down and eat either of these meals. Then I'm weak and miserable after school, without any desire of expending any more energy. I've noticed though that if I "drink" my breakfast and lunch, that the day seems to run smoother. I've been searching for a decent, used treadmill or a cheap new one for home. I just feel more comfortable working out at home- it doesn't take time out of my schedule to travel to the rec either. I miss having a treadmill in the house so I plan to do something about that, as soon as possible.

This resolution is more than just dieting and exercising to lose weight- it's a change to my lifestyle in order to feel better and be healthier. My body has lost it's ability to work smoothly. The fact that I am capable of bringing that back is not lost on me, and I want to do something about it. As much as I'd like to have an exterior motivation, I must manage to do this on my own, for me! I'm hoping that by putting it in writing, I can keep myself accountable. I counted my caloric intake for the day and realize that has gotten comfortably higher as well. I need to drop in reasonable amounts until I'm back to the recommended for my height, age, and desired weight!

Wish me luck! I'm very excited (sitting here writing about it at least)!!!